The Attributes of True Love

The love day should occur every day in a lovely environment. Love is good and it is a gift that God gives to every soul. It is medicinal as it penetrate every cell of the body and touches the heart. It is ok if a day is dedicated to the expression of love, but it would be much more profitable if such a day includes a period of reflection, reflecting on some attributes of love, especially as it relates to relationship, marriage and your home.

Although, there are different types of love, all still share the same root. I have heard some people talk about “true love” but the fact is, if it is not “love” then it is not “love”. Fake love, superficial love, benefitting love, momentary love, quick love, etc are not love in a real sense. Where true love is, its characteristics cannot be missed.

Gifts are lovely but true love is not always determined by lovely gifts, expensive restaurants, or special date nights, but also by being real to each other in the spirit of gentleness. Love is very patient, attentive and empathetic. For love to be a real and lasting one, it must be all-encompassing.

These days, love seems to have lost its original definition amidst all kinds of self-made, assorted definitions, and thus the reaping of the effects of generationally modified love. These days, it seems that love is becoming a scarce commodity and people are desperately looking for it everywhere as they choose, drop and pick.

Somebody said, ‘I gave up on love a long time ago’. One could easily notice the frustration in that expression. Superficial love, rash, benefit-based, self-gratifying love, does not stand the test of time. It fizzles out with ease.

What are the attributes of real and true love?

Love is natural; you cannot enforce it, otherwise, it loses its value. If you manipulate love or entice other into it, you will pay for the damage at one point or the other. Love is reciprocal. It does not follow the rule of opposite charges attract. Its own equation is based on: The same charges attract. Otherwise, the product would be a loose one that backs down easily.

Love is sacrificial. There are things one will let go easily for the sake of love. Love is compassionate. It feels the pain in others. It is not self centered. It sees beyond the short coming of its partner. The great love is empathetic rather than sympathetic. Love seeks good in others. Its resilience is outstanding.

Love is patient, attentive, and discreet at the same time. Love is not about controlling but understanding. Many relationships are marred because one partner always dominates the conversation in an authoritative way, while the other just watches. Love gives a chance to the other to express themselves. Love is tolerant. It sometimes intentionally allows its partner to win. Love does not impose itself, its ideas, its visions and mission on its partner, but is careful and patient in its presentation. Where love thrives, it is no longer about ‘me’ but ‘you’ & ‘us’.

Love sees the good parts of its partner much more than the dented parts. At the same time, it is not blind to the truth or faults but manages them with wisdom. The truth said in love is more efficient and effective than the truth said in harshness and aggression. Love will not leave you in a mess but will rise to the rescue.

Love is more optimistic than pessimistic. It is considerate and prefers others. It does not resist constructive corrections or criticism, but is submissive, and willing to learn. Willing to change.

Love is not the boss that sits on the throne and gives out instructions. It is active and interactive! When couples are being considerate and have respect for each other, progress is a piece of cake.

Love is neither proud nor arrogant but gentle. It does not know it all. Love listens, not listening to reply but to undertsand what is being conveyed.

Love described in the book of 1Corinthians 13:1-8

Love does not envy anyone but appreciates the good in others.
Love is kind and does not seek its own. It is not easily provoked. It does not desire evil for others nor rejoices in the downfall of anyone. The pliability in true love is very great and unique.

The talents and gifts may fail, power and wealth may fail. But not the real love. It abides through thick and thin.

The question is, how do we find such love? Don’t look for it in the other person first, look for it within. As love attracts, it will attract the right one, at the right time, in the right place, and sustain it, especially when that love takes its root in God. Even when love get sick or injured in any relationship, its flexibility and tenderness will pave way for easy reconstruction and reinforcement.

When struggles ensue and the heart struggles with the listed attributes of true love, the remaining love in the heart would gently and humbly seek for the best. It does not follow after the majority. It seeks out its uniqueness and makes the best of it. It pursues strength where it can only be found. It tracks down the never-failing foundational and reference love that is only available in Christ.

Most important is God’s love for us, which is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). God’s unfailing love for us made Him give “his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). This central love is a milestone to any other love and a secret of success to any loving relationship.